Little Brother

Friday, April 13th at 7:44 AM, Makenzie's little brother Landen was born...

Check in was at 5:15 AM for our scheduled c-section with the surgery starting at 7:15 AM. As we got to the hospital I was starting to get really nervous due to the fact that I was having a major surgery done. Laying in the prep room my blood pressure was getting higher and higher. But as soon as they put Landen's heart monitor on it went down (not down to normal but at least done). Everything was good for now. Finally they had me go into the very cold surgery room to get hooked up and to get my spinal done.

Let me tell you how much a spinal hurts...well it's mostly the lidocain that they inject first that hurts like hell. It's like a burning that goes down your spine and makes you want to cry out. But once that kicks in you really can't feel anything else. It was really weird to have your legs go warm, from your feet up to your lower back. They then strap my almost paralyzed legs to the bed and start prepping my body.

I could feel sensations and pulling but no pain. Then I heard the most beautiful sound I could ever hear...Landen screaming bloody murder as soon as they pulled him out. The tears just started to flow. I got to see a little of him around the drape they had. But listening to him was music to my ears. After a few minutes the drape moved and cut off my view off. I started to panic but as long as I could hear him I knew things were good. Once they got him cleaned, Chris brought him over to me to kiss (I wasn't able to hold him because my arms were out at a T with wires and IV lines). It was the most precious thing when he was crying all I did was say his name over and over again and he looked at me because he knew my voice. I was able to calm him down for a short with just my voice.

While I was in recovery, Chris took Landen to the nursery to give him his bath and get him ready to feed. It was so nice to have alone time with Chris and Landen before everyone got to meet him. We took time to feed him and bond with him and to just stare at him. He is so handsome.

This experience has been so wonderful but I can't help but think about Makenzie on that day and what we went through. But I would never change anything about the short time we got with Makenzie.

I know in my heart and soul that Makenzie is watching over us and protecting her little brother. Landen will know all about his big sister and how much we love them both.