So now that my family knows I can now blog about the way that I'm feeling about seeing a positive pregnancy test!
Last week (Friday) I was due for my period and it didn't come...however my first thought was that my body was out of balance due to the birth of Makenzie. So I waited. By Sunday it still didn't come so during my lunch I took a pregnancy test...negative. "So my body is out of wack...I'll just wait a few more days." Monday came and went and so on Tuesday I took a test first thing in the morning. POSITIVE! I'm so glad that Chris was there for the news. We just looked at each other and smiled. I wonder if my HCG levels were too low on Sunday and that's why it came back negative. The next morning when Chris was leaving for work I asked if we were still pregnant and he said "that's what the 3 tests in the bathroom still say!" It felt like a dream almost.
We are so excited but we can't help but be scared because we don't have the naive bliss that we did in our first pregnancy. I wish that I had milestones that I can reach and finally be less worried. But since I lost Makenzie at FULL term (past due in fact) the only way that I can pass the milestones is to give birth to a living baby...9 months later! I really hope that I will have some sanity left in me to enjoy the new baby! HaHaHa.
The other day I went to the book store to find a new pregnancy book, even though the one I have is great but it reminds me of Makenzie to much. I was reading some of the books and found that I couldn't relate to any of them because they all talk about the happy crap and only touch on some of the things that could go wrong. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about having another baby but I also know that there is no guarantees at the end like all those books talk about. I did find one that is about pregnancy after loss. So far it's a good book and it breaks things down into trimesters and some of the things I might go through.
I still can't believe that it happened this soon. We started trying again expecting it to take a while but I guess God has different plans for us. I do feel sad for my friends who are still trying after their losses. Every night I pray for them and ask God to bless them too. It would be so nice to have friends to go through this together with. I'll keep on praying!