I can't believe what can set me off sometimes...
At work I was making phone calls to clients and there was one that I was going over an estimate for their pet. I know that money can be an issue and this lady was telling me how this past month for her has been hell... As she put it "when it rains, it pours". All I could say to her was I know what she means. Then she began telling me about her last month...the car battery going out, the fridge dieing, and something else (I kinda stopped listening at that point). All I wanted to scream was "Don't be stupid!!!! You really want to hear how crappy life can be....let me tell you, lady!!!!" But again all I said was "I know what you mean." I know it's not her fault that life sucks sometimes but I couldn't help but get mad.
And to top it off, that day so happened to have been the 8 week mark. It wasn't so bad until I was driving up to see my parents and had to drive alone. I know I shouldn't have listened to my Ipod but I really wasn't thinking about it until Makenzie's song came on. I should have just skipped by it but I felt that if I did that that I was trying to forget Makenzie. I felt the NEED to listen to it. I know that I shouldn't have been driving and I'm amazed that I made it up to my parent's place in record time. At that point Chris was already up there and I had him meet me outside before going in. We'd been so busy at work last week that I haven't been able to see Chris much...only in bed since he was already sleeping when I got home. All I wanted to do was have Chris comfort me. I only wanted him at that point. He held me and let me cry some more until my eyes were dry and there weren't anymore tears for the moment.
My mom knew something was wrong, but didn't say anything to me until the next day. She said that I looked tired and upset. I just told her that it had been a hard day. That was that. I think Friday I could have been in a large group and still found something that would have triggered an ugly cry. Being alone sometimes is worse...my mind wonders when I'm alone and that can be hard.
But today WILL be a good day.